Trauma has deeply affected my life, causing immense self-anger and frustration. I often asked myself, "Why can't I do this?" and "Why am I pushing others away?" I spent years dwelling on past mistakes, wishing I could change them. Despite my efforts, I kept repeating the same patterns, which only fueled my self-hatred. This cycle of anger and resentment deteriorated my relationship with myself. I thought sheer willpower could fix everything, but I was wrong. After years of trying the same approach with worsening results, I realized my anger and self-hate were leading to negative outcomes for both myself and those around me. This approach was unsustainable—something had to change. But what was the issue? **Trauma impacts our ability to control our reactions.** It felt like my decisions were my own, but I didn't understand that my behaviors were patterns I had learned over time. Childhood abuse, family abuse, partner abuse, or trauma from other terrible events—these experiences alter our perceptions. They change how we act and behave. "Why do I keep doing this?" "Why can't I stop?" Recovery is about regaining the power to change how we respond. It’s about breaking those learned patterns. [[Is it possible to change?|But is it possible to change?]]